10. Mel Savage

Dr. Debi Lynes speaks with Mel Savage of the Career Reset about reinventing yourself at any stage in life

(Duration: 33 minutes 5 seconds)

Mel Savage

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Takeaways

It is never too late to reinvent yourself and reinvention can look like a job change. It can look like an attitude change. It can be pretty much of anything, but here’s the bottom line. Don’t be afraid.

Transcript

Debi Lynes (00:03): Hi and welcome to aging in place for every stage in life. What if you could visit or have a home that would accommodate anyone at any age, any physical ability at any time? How cool would that be? That’s what we’re doing here at aging in place. Why me? Because I’m a doctor of psychology and I specialize in physical spaces in health and wellness. Also, I love designing with intent at any age. Why now? Because we the baby boomers want to age in place gracefully and we want our families around us as much as we can and why you the audience? Because we want you to experience what it’s like to have a home that’s safe, aesthetically pleasing, and that you can live in at any age with any ability at any time. I’d like to introduce you now to Aging in Place Podcast for every stage in life.

Debi Lynes (01:05): Hi and welcome to Aging in Place Podcast for any stage in life. I’m Dr. Debi Lynes and I’m here today with my friend Mel Savage. Thank you so much. We are videotaping today, which is always a treat.

Mel Savage (01:15): I love it, I love being on video. (coming later)

Debi Lynes (01:15): It adds another dimension to a very depth and breath conversation. I’m excited to talk with you today and I think our listeners are going to be really curious about your background and why we’re talking about this subject. So if you will share with us a little bit about your history and where you’re from and what you do now.

Mel Savage (01:38): Okay. Well, first of all, I’m a Canadian. I’m a Canadian wintering in Hilton Head [Island, SC], which is the best place to spend your winter I think for any Canadian out there. And the people here are fantastic.

Debi Lynes (01:50): Where in Canada?

Mel Savage (01:52): I live just outside of Toronto actually. I live in a Lake community, so I’m, you know, beach in Canada in the summer and beach in Hilton Head in the winter. That’s just my idea. That was the vision that I set for myself for my career. So I’ll, I’ll back up a little bit. I am a ex-corporate lifer. I worked both in advertising and marketing for years. My, I guess I spent the most time working with McDonald’s. I was their head of marketing in Canada and in the UK and then at about 45, so not that long ago, quote unquote, not that long ago. I decided I don’t really know what I want to do, but I don’t want to be doing “this” anymore. And I saw that sort of permeating so many people in the corporate world there. They were there to make money too, you know, buy things and make their life quote unquote happy, but they’re not really enjoying themselves.

Debi Lynes (02:40): Fulfilled or purposeful.

Mel Savage (02:42): And people call it midlife crisis. But I think it’s just that, that sort of time in your life where your value starts to change and shift and you don’t really, your career in your life hasn’t shifted with it yet. So you feel a bit, I call it wobbly, a little bit wobbly that the ground underneath you sort of not stable like it was before. So I had that. I’ve said, I’m going to change, I’m gonna change my life. And so I went out and got my coaching certification and I opened up my own business, which I’d never done before, which is called the career reset. And what I do is I really help people find success in a job that they love. And so that can be helping you amplify your performance in a current job that you love or go out and maybe change your career completely or just find a new job in an in a new place. So it’s sort of everything in there. And for a long time I focused on just corporate people and then what ended up happening as entrepreneurs were coming to me and you know, you have to really be open to whatever comes to you in that space. So entrepreneurs are coming to me as well. So now I help entrepreneurs as well, not only with, you know, how to maintain their mindset in starting a new business, cause that’s really hard, but also a little bit on the marketing side to how to really amplify their business success.

Debi Lynes (03:49): One of the things that was exciting. You and I were actually doing another project. We were chatting and I felt like it’s so pertinent to aging in place for a couple of reasons. The fact that you work corporate, you’ve had a career, you’ve shifted and changed and reinvented yourself. And I think that for many of us as we age and because this is for any stage in life, you know, we’re talking about it as a function of age. But what I like about what you say, it’s really about value realignment. I find that if you’re living your values and there’s a congruent C to them, then purpose, fullness and happiness really follow. So what if you noticed in most of your folks? Is there a common theme?

Mel Savage (04:32): Well, it depends on where they’re coming from, but one of the common themes that I think is relevant to this discussion is I get a lot of women saying, “you know what? I’m 50 plus. No one’s going to want to hire me. I don’t know what to do”. You know that happens a lot. And I think that comes from this belief… the societal belief that after a certain age we, we can’t do things anymore or we’re not sure we’re worthy anymore. So it’s really about re-engaging those people and saying, no, no, look what is it that you love doing.

Debi Lynes (05:03): Exactly.

Mel Savage (05:03): You can either reinvent yourself in what you already love doing in a field that you already have experience and capacity in or you can rear impact yourself and do whatever you want. It’s all about what’s in your head and the stories that you tell yourself.

Debi Lynes (05:17): Well, and that’s funny that you said that because on the flip side, I have a 33-year-old daughter who’s getting ready to have her second child and she is a, she’s an anthropologist and also a teacher. She’s choosing for the next couple of years to go on hiatus and kind of stay with these two kids. And I find it interesting that the issues that I often face or what she’s talking about and so we have to sort of common denominator now about how do you reinvent yourself without losing yourself.

Mel Savage (05:50): Right. And I think these are common issues regardless of your life stage. I think maybe the stories we tell ourselves sometimes are a little different depending on the life stage that we’re in. I just was talking to a client last night, she, you know, educated all over the world, got her MBA, did exactly what she wanted to do and is teaching now in a private school and hates it. She’s 27.

Debi Lynes (06:11): Oh my gosh, Okay

Mel Savage (06:13): And she said, you know, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. And I think that’s what we often miss and we were talking about it briefly before, is that you know, your work life, your personal life, your relationship, your own self-care and your own self worth are also intrinsically linked. You really can’t sort of say.

Debi Lynes (06:31): Teased them out.

Mel Savage (06:32): Yeah. I teased them out. They, sort of, they’re, it’s like, Oh, what’s that word? I was looking for it. Well, they, they, they spread into each other. Right? So you, you really need to start with yourself. You’re the cog in this whole wheel. Decide what you want to be. That’s where I start with my clients. What is it you want your life to look like? Not necessarily a career. What does it mean your life to look like and then fit it in? Cause that’s what I did. I was in a corporate job where I commuted an hour each way every day to my job and worked 12 hours a day. And I said, no, I want my life to look like I can work from anywhere.

Debi Lynes (07:02): Okay. So that was the first thing you do. I think this is really interesting. I almost like to pretend that again, regardless of age, I’m a client. And how do you begin? What are the questions that you’re asking me?

Mel Savage (07:14): Well, I always start with, well, what do you want in your life? Where do you see yourself? What does success look like for you? Not just in your life, but in sort of in your career, but in your life. Okay. And then we start there. And then how do you see your career fitting into that? So the process that I take people through is really about first life visioning. Then understanding what makes them tick. What are their strengths, what makes them feel strong, what makes them feel weak when they’re doing it? And what are their current values? Getting realigned with those and then applying all of that to what that means for their career won’t actually be talk about career until maybe three or four weeks into the process when we really have a sense of who they are and what they want. And within that process, one of the thing I’ll add is we talk a lot about conditioning your mind for success. So how do you think about yourself? How do you rethink and reframe what you think about and believe about yourself?

Debi Lynes (08:04): What is the story I’m telling myself that may or may not be accurate?

Mel Savage (08:07): That’s right.

Debi Lynes (08:08): We were just I have to tell on myself a little bit. It’s, it’s, I’m just frustrated with my computer and I’m like, Oh, I’m so dumb at the end. You’re like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, yeah, I invite you.

Mel Savage (08:18): Right, right I offer you a new story.

Debi Lynes (08:22): Exactly because I think Jean, do those negative, that negative self talk or those automatic thoughts often pop up.

Mel Savage (08:28): Right and we don’t have to think that. If you think, Oh, I, I just, tech is so confusing, I just can’t do it.

Debi Lynes (08:33): That’s a story.

Mel Savage (08:34): You want to do it, you couldn’t do it. And it’s about getting comfortable with the discomfort. We always talk about that. Oh, you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And we say it like it. Just say it. We don’t actually know what it means. And it’s learning to actually get comfortable that.

Debi Lynes (08:47): Being a psychologist, one of the things that I find interesting is most often change happens from discomfort.

Mel Savage (08:54): That’s right.

Debi Lynes (08:55): When you’re in your safety, your little bubble.

Mel Savage (08:57): That’s right.

Debi Lynes (08:57): I don’t need to change. I have my fluffy robe and I’m all good.

Mel Savage (09:00): I know we have this time thing. I want to say this thing about that. It’s really important what you just said, because as human beings, we often react to crisis, right? When we have to make a change. And one of the things I talked about when we were together on the other project is, you know, we as we’ll spend so much time in our lives doing our homework when we want to buy and make a big purchase, right? Whether it’s I’m going to buy a house or a car or a new, you know, iPhone or whatever. We do all our research. We spent hours and hours when we’re going to spend the money. We do our homework when it comes to making the money. We don’t do our homework, right? We just learn drift from one shiny object to another one easy solution to another. And so what I work with my clients on is just spending that time, which doesn’t take that much. You know, it doesn’t take that. It takes a few months to do that introspective work, understand what makes you tick and do the practice of setting up your mind for success and then going after what you want.

Debi Lynes (09:54): I want to continue on that. I want to know what vision boarding is for you, like visioning cause I think that’s really important. We’re going to take a real quick break. We’re a little bit earlier. We’re going to head and take a break so we can come back and continue to talk about this cause it’s really fascinating.

Mel Savage (10:07): All right, great. Excited.

Debi Lynes (10:08): Stay with this. There’s more to come on. Aging in place. Hi, I’m Dr. Debi Lynes. design elements are psychologically and physically supportive and conducive to health and wellness. To learn more about what Lynes on Design can do for you for more information, on certified aging in place and facilitative and supportive design. Look for us at lynesondesign.com. That’s L-Y-N-E-S on design dot com. We are back here on aging in place for any stage in life. I am with my friend Mel Savage and I tell you what took a quick break but we keep on talking because I think this is a subject that once you open up the dialogue, people are not only curious about but anxious to really share their stories and others. Do you find that?

Mel Savage (10:57): Yeah, people, people definitely want to share their stories. I mean people want to hear other people’s stories. You know, when we hear other people’s stories that almost like it gives us permission to go after of changing our own story or taking some action in our own story.

Debi Lynes (11:12): Do you find that people are pretty well aware on, I know that we were talking in the first segment about, you know, really aligning your values. What do you want? What does success mean for you? How do you define that? How do we know that? Or does it take some kind of clever coaxing from you to help me put that into words? The language.

Mel Savage (11:33): Right. Well I guess it really, it really depends because you can say, so say for instance, successes of value. Okay. But you have to define it. Success is too broad of a thing. It’s like saying wealth is a value. You might be family and friends and you know, whatever. And it’s not that people like money, money, money, right.

Debi Lynes (11:53): Exactly.

Mel Savage (11:53): You have to define what it means to you and where that comes from. First I find is we go through as part of the process of values assessment, my values assessment.

Debi Lynes (12:04): It’s my favorite thing ever.

Mel Savage (12:06): Is tough for people because a lot of people say, okay, here’s, here’s your sheet of values. Pick 10 of these and then, you know, think about it and pick three. I go, so deep people are like, ah, that was really hard. But it is very introspective. It’s about starting with that long list of values. Really understanding in your, in yourself, okay, what is it now that I’ve got this long list, what is it my life like when I feel like I’m being sorry, what’s happening to me when I feel like I’m being stomped on or when I feel like I’m, I’m totally common at peace. What am I doing? And then what’s the value behind that? So if for instance, you know, I feel very common at peace when I’m doing something that stretches my mind, perhaps growth is a value.

Debi Lynes (12:51): Well, that’s funny that you say that because one of the things from doing the podcast is I’ve had to continue to learn, right? and at 66, you know, you think oh I’m kinda done with that. Right? No time up. Four and five hours will go by as I continue to learn something that I in no way, shape or form even knew I was interested in. So that’s really what you’re saying.

Mel Savage (13:12): Yeah. And then the other thing is respect is a big one for people, right? So, Oh, of respect is a value for me. Okay.

Debi Lynes (13:19): Does that mean.

Mel Savage (13:19): Exactly. So when I feel like my people expecting me or my, my self-respect or someone’s treating me as being stomped on, okay, we get this, this step values. And then what I want people to understand is there are values in your life that you’re holding onto that are giving you energy and sucking your energy. Okay? So for instance, if, if the idea that people are disrespecting you, whether that’s they cut you off on the freeway or they, whatever, show up late for a meeting. If that’s what you consider, you know, a value, but it makes you angry more often than not, it’s sucking. Maybe that’s a value that you don’t necessarily need in your life anymore. Maybe there are other values that can really open you up. It’s your choice. You might say, no values, respect is an important value to me. Or you might redefine what the value of respect means to you and make it a bit more aspirational and change it into something that can give you energy versus take your energy.

Debi Lynes (14:15): Take your [energy], I never thought about it as values that can actually, things that you hold important, that aren’t serving you well. It’s really what they are saying.

Mel Savage (14:23): And they want from you is security. Financial security was a big value for me or comfort and that was holding me back, you know, from taking, moving forward and what I want to do with my life because my sense of security like freaked me out when I thought, Oh my God, am I going to get a steady paycheck? So how can I handle this? And that freaks a lot of people out. So I needed to learn to let go of that and think of money differently.

Debi Lynes (14:45): And so I think when I, when I hear things like I needed to learn how to let go or that are specific skills and strategies and techniques that you recommend.

Mel Savage (14:54): Well I, I’m sure you know the positive psychology model about thoughts, drive feelings, drive actions, drive results. And I really embedded that into my practice at all stages, whether it’s writing your career plan or just conditioning your mind for success. So if you have a thought in your head that without a steady paycheck every week I’m going to not be comfortable or I’m going to be stressed out. That’s a, that’s a thought, right? And so it’s about the idea that, you know, if, if the circumstance or the fact is I’m not getting a steady paycheck every week, download all your thoughts about what that means to you. Think and then pick one and understand what it feels like.

Debi Lynes (15:32): You know, it’s interesting, let’s kind of shift this to an aging in place model, if you will. I have a client right now that I’m dealing with that is moving from their, their forever home into assisted living. Absolutely phenomenal place beautiful now.

Mel Savage (15:51): And so many people feel that way.

Debi Lynes (15:53): It is, it is. It’s really taking an emotional drain. So what I hear you saying is how you offer skills and strategies to help shift that negative mindset.

Mel Savage (16:07): Yes. So if she’s got she, what she would need to do is download all the thoughts she has about, obviously she.

Debi Lynes (16:14): I’m getting old, I’m this, I’m that and.

Mel Savage (16:16): She’s got to pick one. Obviously the overwhelming emotion for her sphere. Okay. Okay. It sounds like. Yes, but what is, what, what are the… what is the main thought driving that fear. And so the fear is leading her to an action of resisting the change and the results she’s going to get is being unhappy on what she’s doing. Let’s say.

Debi Lynes (16:34): Gosh, she could really psychologically analyze that: fear, mortality, independence, quality of life.

Mel Savage (16:40): Then what I tell people is, “okay, how do you want to feel about this?” So this is the key thing. You have to want the change. Like if she is like digging our heels, and saying, “I don’t even want to think about what’s limiting my beliefs. I just don’t want to go,” then she’s not ready to have this conversation.

Debi Lynes (16:52): Do you do a lot of stages of change?

Mel Savage (16:53): Where are you, you know, there are different stages of change where there are some people who just know I’m not ready to even talk about it. And then it sort of like a, I’ll think about it. We’re not really going to, if they don’t want to talk about it, I can’t work with them. Okay. That’s the thing. If you’re not ready, cause I can only kind of show you the way. I can’t do the work for you. You have to want to do the work or you’re not going to do it. So let’s say she wanted to feel, so what do you want to feel about? I want to feel comfortable. I want to feel excited.

Debi Lynes (17:20): I know this is a great move for me. I just feel all this apprehension.

Mel Savage (17:23): Right. So, but I want to feel excited. Okay. What thoughts do you need to think? Okay. To feel excited.

Debi Lynes (17:29): Yeah, I guess I need to feel secure. I need to feel connected. I need to feel that I

Mel Savage (17:37): And what are the thoughts you need to think? You need to think this could be good for me.

Debi Lynes (17:41): Okay, great. Positive thoughts. Right? This could be good for me.

Mel Savage (17:44): I’m going to see friends. Yeah, it’s going to be safer for me there. Got it. You know, my, my family still gonna come see me. I can build a new community. What are the thoughts that are gonna make you feel? Whatever it is you want to feel. Okay. And then what you need to do is say to yourself, okay, someone who thinks this is going to be good for me, new move for me and for us to feel comfortable. How would they act? Well, they would be open to all the things.

Debi Lynes (18:07): They would invite me to cocktails at four 30.

Debi Lynes (18:09): Right. And so then you start to practice behaving in the way that kind of person would behave.

Debi Lynes (18:15): Got it.

Mel Savage (18:16): Right. And it’s not going to be easy. You have to, and I write models everyday for myself. Like these are, I call this the self reset model and I’ve just branded it. I didn’t invent it obviously, but you know.

Debi Lynes (18:26): Self-reset model. I like that.

Mel Savage (18:27): So I just, you know, I’ve practiced models everyday on myself or things that are holding you back. And so if this person could practice the model of behaving in a way that gives her the feeling and the thoughts that she needs to have to create the life she wants in this new environment.

Debi Lynes (18:43): In many ways, it’s developed, I hate to say it and simplify it as developing new positive habits. It’s that work for you.

Mel Savage (18:51): Right.

Debi Lynes (18:51): And in a belief that you believe.

Mel Savage (18:53): If she said, you know, for instance, you know, if I said to me, I didn’t, if I had low self-esteem and all of a sudden my belief is I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, right. My brain is going to fight against that. So I need to think something that is believable. Take a step. So it might be, okay, there are a lot of good things about me there. I might start to first by my start there. You know.

Debi Lynes (19:13): And I think what I hear you say is this is about reality. One of the things I learned a long time ago that positive psychology is it’s not rainbows and butterflies, unicorns and you know, no, it’s not. It’s about being real. But recognizing that we do have the power to sort of share the way our brain works.

Mel Savage (19:31): It just takes practice. It’s like if you are someone, and I missed a lot of people like this and Hilton head, who is a fitness person or always trying to improve your golf game or whatever it is, I mean, you practice all the time to get good at that baby’s done further, right? Just practice. It’s just practice.

Debi Lynes (19:49): I have a new little one and you know, she’s learning to walk and she doesn’t just get up and walk, she gets up and falls down and gets up and gets up and fall down and you forget about that. You really do.

Mel Savage (20:00): She doesn’t care that she’s falls down.

Debi Lynes (20:01): Having black. Shelly, this is so cool. We’re gonna take another quick break. We’re gonna come back and we’re going to talk about if, if you’re willing to do this, about sort of shifting careers as you age. And is it ever, are you ever too old to sort of rebrand yourself a better word? Stay with us. There’s more to come on aging in place.

Henrik de Gyor (20:21): For more podcast episodes, links, information and media inquiries, please visit our website at Aging in Place Podcast.com as we transition through life with a comfort and ease you deserve. Discover how you can create a home that will adapt to you as you journey through life and the changes it will bring. Please follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as our host Debi and her expert guests discuss relevant topics to creating a home for all decades in life. Don’t miss our weekly episodes of aging in place. Podcast for every stage in life.

Debi Lynes (20:59): We are back here on aging in place. I am here with my friend Mel Savage and we’re having an absolutely fascinating and I like to call it spirited discussion. Today. I’m really about rebranding, reinventing yourself. And when we took a break I was asking if it’s, is it ever too late to rebrand myself to my too old to get a job? You know, do we, as we get older, begin to think in those terms?

Mel Savage (21:28): Well, I think we think in those terms, but those are stories that we tell ourselves.

Debi Lynes (21:33): We tell ourselves.

Mel Savage (21:34): So let’s ask, you know, Betty White, if she’s too old, let’s ask, what does that guy who’s, whose mother is like an icon now that the rich guy with the rockets.

Debi Lynes (21:45): She branded?

Mel Savage (21:46): No, no, no. I can’t think of his name.

Debi Lynes (21:50): Has anyone knows the name? [Elon Musk]

Mel Savage (21:50): His mother, right? She’s a new icon. Right? So you can if you think you’re too old to do something, then you will be too old to do something.

Debi Lynes (22:03): What’s interesting, our producer Henrik is asking a question during the break. “What about age discrimination?” Is that something that folks bring to the table when they talked to you?

Mel Savage (22:11): Yeah, and I think it’s a real thing. It’s just like any other kind of discrimination. You can’t think your way out of changing the world’s… other people’s thoughts. Right? So, you know, the big thing about the positive psychology model is there’s something called a circumstance, right? And circumstances are other people.

Debi Lynes (22:26): Correct.

Mel Savage (22:26): And you know, facts or things that happen outside of our control, you know, you cannot control other people, although a lot of people spend so much energy trying to control other people. You can’t control their people. So there’s going to be people out there who don’t want to work with “old” people are intimidated by “old” people. when I say old, I’m like air quoting “old.”

Debi Lynes (22:48): It could be 40.

Mel Savage (22:49): That could be 40. Right? I’m turning 50 this year. I feel like 50 is the new 30 sister, whatevs. Right. I just said whatevs and I’m 50.

Debi Lynes (22:56): and I understood it and I am 66 so there you go. Henrik’s like “I never even heard of it.”

Mel Savage (23:04): That’s right. Yeah. So I mean, yeah, they’re going to be out there that doesn’t have to stop you from going after what you want and rebranding yourself and going out there with a mindset of success and abundance.

Debi Lynes (23:21): And let’s talk about baby boomers right now because I think that we are almost ubiquitous. We’re pretty much all out there now. We’re a huge part of the demographic and we’re just growing. And I think it’s, it’s interesting. My dad lives with us and he’s 91. And his mindset I think is his belief system is a bit more rigid. And I find that the older I get, the less rigid I am, the more open to new things and new experiences. So as part of that, just minding your beliefs and following exactly.

Mel Savage (23:55): Personality too. It’s who you are. I mean, my husband, maybe it’s, there’s some gender stereotypes in there too. My husband seems to get less and less. He’s a boomer. I’m a gen X or, so yeah.

Debi Lynes (24:06): Does he gets curmudgeonly?

Mel Savage (24:06): He gets curmudgeonly and then I’m like “snap out of it ” and I snap, you know, I think it’s just attitude, everything. But we’re talking about his attitude, you know, nobody, I was getting ready for this and I’m just going to have video and I put makeup on and I was saying nobody cares when I look like no one actually cares. The end of the day, if I, as long as I’m saying something smart or has helpful or inspiring or whatever we call ourselves, you know, hope dealers. I’m a hope dealer. Very long as I can provide some hope. No one’s actually going to care what I’m wearing, what I look like. And that’s really the way of the world, right? If you’re providing value to people, you know discrimination. I was just, I watched this great thing yesterday on Arthur Ashe cause the Australian open just started and I’m a huge tennis fan.

Debi Lynes (24:56): Love it, how was the weather there by the way?

Mel Savage (24:56): It rained yesterday, but it’s sunny today. Anyway, Arthur Ashe, his story and he did not let, and there’s so many great stories like this, right? He did not let discrimination stop him from going after what he wanted to do. In fact, look at it as an opportunity to change the world. He went to Africa and he spoke out against apartheid and tried to change apartheid in sport. And you know, these are all things that are possible when you change your mindset and use the, you know, quote unquote block as an opportunity.

Debi Lynes (25:30): Oh my gosh, I’m inspired just thinking about it. So what I really hear you say is as we get older, use that as an opportunity for growth because, and this is just a fact, as we age, our experiences become richer. Don’t you say? I think so safer and more toweling yeah. So.

Mel Savage (25:55): Can make people get more tired when they’re older. Like I don’t want to try anymore. I want to take, I don’t want to take any chances anymore. I don’t want to, well that’s, that’s okay. That’s you, that’s your life.

Debi Lynes (26:04): But I invite you.

Mel Savage (26:05): Yeah. However, it’s a kind of goal that you want to achieve. You know, it’s going to take action.

Debi Lynes (26:12): Is there a way that you determine goals and objectives for people are, do you go broad spectrum for that and then kind of drill down?

Mel Savage (26:20): Well, when it comes to career specifically, I start broad spectrum. We start with life, then you then what that means for your career. And then we establish career goals specifically. It depends on what the people are looking for. You know, they might start with a really broad goal. Like I just, I just want to be happy and okay. That’s fine. And then that’s, that’s broad. There is nothing wrong with that I’ll just need to whittle it down. So it, you need to get more and more specific. And at the end of the day, like it is with anything, weight loss, you know, new career. Anything else. People have a sense, especially when it comes to career. For some reason people want to be certain, but they’re going to have success at every single step of the journey before they’re willing to start taking the first step. Oh, okay. Right.

Debi Lynes (27:08):

All right.

Mel Savage (27:09):

So, you know, I, I want to be a present company except, yeah, no, I want to be a a designer. I want to be like you. I want to be able to be an interior designer, but I don’t know if I’m going to be good at it. And so, you know, and I’m not sure I can go to school anymore and I’m not sure that I’m, maybe I’m too old to do it and, and they go on and on and on. And so they don’t take one step to find out anything about it.

Debi Lynes (27:32):

So self-fulfilling prophecy that occurs.

Mel Savage (27:34):

Right. So what I tell people, and it’s the same thing with weight, I want to lose 50 pounds, but 50 pounds sounds so huge, you know that we don’t start, we don’t try to lose the first ounce. And so that’s really what I help people on. Once we have the goal, which might be huge to you. Okay, that’s fine. What’s the first step? Don’t worry about all the other steps because what the first step informs the next step informed step and you’re going to figure it out as you go along.

Debi Lynes (28:00):

You know, it’s funny, some people have mindsets. I found as I’ve gotten older of work to me always represented finding something I loved and doing it. And Mike, my hustle, it was always work with, he was raised at work was a means to achieve financial stability. Right. And I think that those are two just diametrically opposed belief systems as you were saying.

Mel Savage (28:23):

That’s right. W I’m more on your husband about my, in my upbringing, I was taught that work is a responsibility to bring home money to support the family. And in fact in my family, which is a bit more what were my, I’m a first-generation any, my parents immigrated to Canada. I was taught men go to work and bring home the money to support the family. So my father never held me back from going after my own career, but when my husband, didn’t make as much money as I was making. Ah, that became a discussion point and I’m like, yeah, but these are belief systems, right? That were there and then were ingrained in me. In fact, at the beginning I had a problem with it too, but I had to rework my brain going, this is ridiculous. This is, this is nothing. We have enough money. Who cares?

Debi Lynes (29:13):

It’s all about the journey.

Mel Savage (29:15):

It’s all about the journey.

Debi Lynes (29:16):

I mean it really is. Alright, I can’t believe we’re out of time.

Mel Savage (29:19):

I know. I want to talk more hours.

Debi Lynes (29:23):

I know, I know exactly where is the time there is no time. But before we go, I want to thank you, Mel Savage, very much. What I’d love to have you do is again, some shameless self-promotion.

Mel Savage (29:32):

Oh, I love shameless promotion.

Debi Lynes (29:32):

Again your name and how we can reach you and if we’re interested in chatting with you about kind of reinventing ourselves.

Mel Savage (29:41): Yeah, absolutely. Well, I’m Mel Savage, my company is called The Career Reset and email me at mel@thecareerreset.com. I have a and you can contact me through, there’s right on the first page. You can book some time with me, a free 30-minute consult. We’ll talk about what’s going on with you and then find the right path forward for you. In terms of what’s next, I have a monthly membership program. I have one on one coaching and I have a podcast called the career reset and if you want to can search that on, on iTunes is iTunes or I podcast or the podcast app now or you can just go to the career reset.com forward slash podcast.

Debi Lynes (30:15): You’re amazing. I really enjoyed this.

Mel Savage (30:19): Me too.

Debi Lynes (30:19): Thank you all for joining us here on aging in place for any stage in life. Mel Savage again. Thank you.

Mel Savage (30:25): Thank you.

Debi Lynes (30:26): I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Tracy. Tracy is naturally curious and always creative. And when we were doing the Aging in Place Podcast, she said, there are so many quick tips that I can think of offhand. My response, who knew. She’s going to be with us every week, giving us a quick tip and to hint that is a practical application.

Tracy Snelling (30:55): Thanks Debi. My grip sucks. Bathroom safety grips can be used everywhere by anyone and not just for showers. I have a friend that has trouble standing for long periods of time before his legs start getting weak. So I attached one on the kitchen counter next to his coffee pot and one on the counter in the bathroom next to his sink. I also placed one on his patio door. Some sliding patio doors have the small grips where you’re supposed to be able to open and with just your fingertips and if you even have arthritis, it’s hard to open or close the door, let alone find the strength to pull the door on its track. Having a section grip on the patio door at the right height gives more leverage to open or close. And if you do lose your balance, the stability is there with the safety grip. The grip bars have attached suction cups and sticks to most surfaces, so removal and attaching them as easy. But do you make sure you read the manufacturer’s instructions before placing. I even packed a safety grip and my friend’s suitcase when he went to visit his family so he could use their sink with no problem. Who knew we can get a grip on just the basics of keeping ourselves aging in place.

Debi Lynes (32:11): Mel Savage is an amazing spokeswoman and here’s what we learned today. We always like to have our takeaways. It is never too late to reinvent yourself and reinvention can look like a job change. It can look like an attitude change. It can be pretty much of anything, but here’s the bottom line. Don’t be afraid. Thank you all for joining us here on aging in place.

Henrik de Gyor (32:36): Aging in Place Podcast is hosted by Debi Lynes and produced by Henrik de Gyor. If you have any comments or questions, send an email to debi@aginginplacepodcast.com we would love to hear from you if you’re interested in advertising or sponsoring this podcast, email us at pr@aginginplacepodcast.com. Thank you for listening to Aging in Place Podcast.

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